The past few months doesn't matter. It literally flew by just like that.

But the past two weeks have been hell for me. I swear never in my life have I cried so hard, so much. It's just, you never fully appreciate what you've got until it's gone. I can barely express how I feel with words. But to say that I had my heart torn into a million pieces is only an understatement.

But I've made a vow to myself to not cry anymore. I know it's for the best. To every problem is a solution - and crying is not it. I'm just trying my best to help with the situation right now. Hopefully all our sweat and tears are worth it. And every situation has a brighter side to it, and I have chosen to look at that side, and not dwell on the negative anymore.

Like what they say, whatever doesn't kill you only makes you stronger, right? I believe that if you have faith and keep praying, everything will be alright. The one thing this whole situation has taught me is that I have great friends, and for that I'm grateful. I never fully appreciated it, and this situation has definitely taught me to appreciate people around me more.

And the thing is that I've never really respected a person this much before. You tell me, which teenager moves all the way across the world to go through four hard-ass years of training so that their family could live better lives? What kills me the most is that FOUR freaking years of training can end in four days just like that. I guess it's just life.

Well, when life gives you lemons, you make lemonade, right? :) I know things will get better, I know they will. Having faith makes me look at life in a whole new perspective. It's definitely refreshing. I have never been so contented in my life before :) It's just funny how just a week ago I was crying like a baby and now I have never been happier.

Jay Park, please don't give up because we're anticipating a really great comeback. And most importantly, we always got your back :)